Sex Therapy: Understanding, Connection, and Breaking Shame

Article by Maxi Xie (Counsellor & Sex Therapist)

How Do I Know If I Need Sex Therapy?

If you're unsure whether sex therapy is right for you, ask yourself the following questions:

• Do I find it difficult to communicate my sexual needs and desires?

• Have I experienced pain or discomfort during sex?

• Do I struggle with low or mismatched libido in my relationship?

• Have I felt shame, guilt, or anxiety around sex or my sexuality?

• Do I avoid intimacy due to fear, trauma, or past negative experiences?

• Have I experienced difficulty achieving orgasm or arousal?

• Do I feel disconnected from my partner(s) regarding intimacy or emotional connection?

• Am I interested in exploring aspects of my sexuality but feel uncertain or hesitant?

• Do I want to improve my confidence in my sexual experiences?

• Have I noticed changes in my sexual function due to stress, ageing, or medical conditions?

• Do I feel judged or ashamed about my sexual desires, preferences, or fantasies?

• Have I encountered cultural or religious conflicts about sex and intimacy?

• Am I curious about poly relationships, kink, or alternative relationship structures?

• Do I want to enhance pleasure and deepen intimacy in my relationship?

• Have I ever felt that sex is an obligation rather than an enjoyable experience?

If you answered YES or MAYBE to any of these questions, sex therapy can help you address your concerns and enhance your sexual well-being.

What is Sex Therapy?

Talking about sex can sometimes feel difficult, awkward, or even embarrassing. But at Mind Body Heart Psychology, we create a comfortable, judgment-free space where you can explore your concerns openly.

Sex therapy is a specialised form of counselling designed to help individuals and couples enhance pleasure, reduce pain, and address challenges related to sexual well-being. It provides a safe, non-judgmental environment to explore sexuality, improve communication, and overcome shame or stigma surrounding sex.

It also helps with processing sexual trauma, understanding the impact of age on sexual health, and addressing concerns related to intimacy, identity, and relationships. Additionally, we offer support for sexual health (STIs), sex assistive aids (sex toys), and neurodiversity-related sex issues.

Who is Sex Therapy For?

Sex therapy is for anyone looking to improve their sexual experiences, overcome difficulties, or deepen their understanding of their sexuality. It can benefit:

• Individuals experiencing pain during sex, difficulty achieving orgasm, or changes in sexual function.

• Those struggling with shame, stigma, or anxiety related to sex and intimacy.

• People healing from past sexual trauma and reclaiming a positive sexual identity.

• Couples looking to improve intimacy, communication, and connection.

• Those exploring sexual orientation, gender identity, or relationship dynamics (including poly relationships, kink & fetish).

• Individuals seeking to enhance pleasure, sexual confidence, and overall well-being.

• People managing neurodiversity-related sex issues, or interested in sex assistive aids and sexual health (STIs) education.

Common Issues Addressed in Sex Therapy

• Desire Issues & Mismatched Libido

• Painful Intercourse & Sexual Dysfunction

• Sexual Confidence & Performance Anxiety

• Kink & Fetish Exploration, BDSM Practices

• Neurodiversity & Sex-Related Issues

• Overcoming Sexual Boredom

• Processing Sexual Trauma & Emotional Barriers

• Open Communication & Setting Boundaries

• Challenging Shame, Stigma, & Taboos

• Exploring Gender, Sexual Identity & Relationships

• Navigating Changes in Desire & Ageing

• Cultural, Religious, & Personal Barriers

• Poly Relationships & Alternative Dynamics

• Building Intimacy & Deepening Connection

• Managing Compulsive Sexual Behaviour & Porn Use

What a Sex Therapist Does

• Addresses Sexual Concerns & Challenges:
  Helps with issues like low libido, sexual dysfunction, pain during sex, or mismatched desires.

• Creates a Safe, Non-Judgmental Space:
  Provides a supportive environment to discuss sexual concerns openly and comfortably.

• Improves Sexual Communication:
  Guides individuals and couples to express their sexual needs, boundaries, and desires more effectively.

• Supports Exploration of Sexual Identity & Orientation:
  Offers a safe space to explore gender identity, sexual orientation, and relationship structures like poly relationships or kink.

• Helps Process Sexual Trauma:
  Assists in healing from past sexual trauma and building a positive, safe relationship with intimacy.

• Offers Guidance on Enhancing Intimacy & Pleasure:
  Suggests techniques and strategies to improve connection, intimacy, and sexual satisfaction.

• Educates on Sexual Health & Well-being:
  Provides information about sexual health, STIs, neurodiversity-related sex issues, and sex assistive aids (sex toys).

• Takes a Holistic Approach:
  May recommend health checks or refer clients to other professionals like pelvic floor physiotherapists, doctors, or sexual health specialists to ensure a comprehensive approach that benefits the client’s overall well-being.

What a Sex Therapist Does NOT Do

• Does NOT Watch or Participate in Sexual Activity:
  Sex therapy focuses on discussion, guidance, and education—never direct involvement in sexual acts.

• Does NOT Engage in Any Physical Contact:
  Therapy is a talk-based process. Physical interaction of any kind is unethical and never part of sex therapy.

• Does NOT Prescribe Medication:
  Sex therapists are not medical doctors and cannot prescribe medication. However, they can refer or collaborate with medical professionals if needed.

• Does NOT Judge or Shame Clients:
  Therapists are trained to approach all topics with empathy and professionalism, no matter your concerns or preferences.

• Does NOT Diagnose Medical Conditions:
  While sex therapists can identify sexual health issues, they do not diagnose medical conditions like hormonal imbalances or physical disorders. However, they may refer you to a specialist or GP for a more accurate diagnosis and appropriate medical care.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

1. What happens during a sex therapy session?
   Sex therapy sessions are conversational and non-judgmental. They provide a safe space to discuss concerns, learn techniques, and explore ways to improve your sexual well-being. Sessions may involve education, guided exercises, and open discussions tailored to your needs.

2. Do I need to bring my partner to sex therapy?
   It depends on your goals. Some people attend therapy alone, while others benefit from joint sessions with their partner. Your therapist can help determine the best approach for your situation.

3. Is sex therapy only for people with sexual dysfunction?
   Not at all! Sex therapy helps with a wide range of issues, from improving intimacy and communication to overcoming shame and exploring sexuality in a supportive environment.

4. Will I have to talk about my sexual history?
   Only if you feel comfortable. Your therapist will guide the discussion at your pace and focus on what’s relevant to your current needs and goals.

5. Is sex therapy confidential?
   Yes, all sessions are confidential, following professional ethical guidelines. Your privacy and comfort are a priority.

6. Do sex therapists prescribe medication?
   No, sex therapists do not prescribe medication. However, they can collaborate with medical professionals if medical interventions are needed.

7. How long does sex therapy take?
   The length of therapy varies depending on individual needs. Some clients see improvements in a few sessions, while others benefit from ongoing support over time.

8. Is sex therapy appropriate for all sexual orientations and identities?
   Absolutely. Sex therapy is inclusive of all sexual orientations, gender identities, and relationship structures. It is a space that affirms and supports diverse experiences.

9. Can sex therapy help if I have a high sex drive or feel out of control with sexual behaviour?
   Yes, therapy can provide guidance and strategies for managing compulsive sexual behaviour, developing healthier habits, and understanding the underlying causes of these feelings.

10. How do I get started?
    You can book a session by contacting Mind Body Heart Psychology through our website or email. Our goal is to provide a safe, supportive environment to help you on your journey to sexual well-being.